Modified Direct Openers Thursday, Aug 23 2007 

I saw the opinion expressed on a mesage board to the effect that direct openers will not work on hot women. That’s complete and utter bullshit and I’m going to tell you why.

First, picking up girls is not about sticking to a script. Using canned material will never get you anywhere really interesting. Look at who the really good PUAs are; they are the guys the material is originating from. Originating. Original. See how that works? For guys whose style isn’t congruent with direct opening, it probably won’t work for them. That doesn’t mean it won’t work even on an SHB10 for a guy whose game it is congruent with and who can hold his frame. Picking up women is Legos, where you can put the pieces together in a way that makes what you want. It is not an Estes model where you are supposed to put the pieces together without variation and have yours just like everyone else’s.

You guys don’t care about that right? I know. On to the useful stuff.

The examples I see of direct openers out there focus on a physical compliment. This is going to work great on sixes and sevens. They know they are pretty, but they also know they aren’t the prettiest girls out there. They have physical insecurities and they are going to respond to the compliment on some level. Eights are borderline, this is where calibration will serve you well.

So how about direct opening nines and tens? It’s easy, guys. Base the compliment on something that isn’t physical. They are constantly bombarded with attention based purely on their physical appearance. They know they are hot. For the most part anyway. It’s really common for girls to have warped body image, but for the sake of this example, we’ll assume you are dealing with an HB10 who knows she looks good. Women that hot are rarely appreciated for their non-physical attributes.

So how can you compliment a total stranger on something non-physical? (First, stop being so shallow.) Observation. If your HB10 is in a store, compliment her on the material she is browsing, the CD or movie she is holding, the book she is flipping through, whatever. Do not forget, you need to keep frame, DHV, and you still need to make her qualify.

PUA:

    Hey I see you’re holding Atlas Shrugged, that’s really deep! Hi, I’m…

(exchange names)

    What else have you read?

Here you compliment her current choice, establish an introduction, and ask her to qualify with her other choices of reading material.

How do you do it when there isn’t a handy prop? Proximity. Grab a piece of conversation and open on that. (Don’t be obviously eavesdropping though; that’s creepy.)

PUA:

    Hey I heard you talking about fluid dynamics, lubrication theory is so cool! Hi, I’m…

(exchange names)

    What else do you do for fun?

Here you compliment her on smart conversation, introduce, and then make her qualify that she’s fun.

I’d love to see some field reports that involve direct opening SHBs, so if you’ve got ‘em, link ‘em in the comments.


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Direct Openers Monday, Aug 20 2007 

So, I was asked for my opinion on direct openers.

You guys know all about this, right? You walk up to a girl and start with something like:

PUA:

    You look absolutely gorgeous, I just had to say hi. My name is…

(exchange names)

    Why are you special?

Myself, I think direct openers are cool. But then, I’m a direct kind of girl.

This is why they are cool:
1) The interaction is initiated with the target. There is no guessing, “Does he like me? Does he like my friend?” Even when it seems obvious , that can still happen in a set where the girls interpret winning over an obstacle as interest in the obstacle, which in turn may trigger friend loyalty (it does happen, even with girls!) if the obstacle likes you and shut down the target.
2) It shows self confidence, which is a great DHV. I think a PUA has to have a really strong frame to be able to use this technique, because it is more personally exposed with you stating your opinion rather than asking a group of chicks for a bullshit opinion on something neither you nor they care about. (Which is fine as far as it goes, since the point is to get them talking to you.) It ups the ante a little, right off the bat.

Some important considerations when using direct openers:
1) Make her qualify. This is essential. Every AFC in the club has, at some point, used the compliment-”Can I buy you a drink?” combo. The qualification is what makes you different.
2) You have to watch your tone and wording. Women are ultra sensitive to this. To most guys, “What’s special about you?” and “Why are you special?” are identical. They aren’t. “What’s special about you?” is more dismissive. It’s easier to imply that there is nothing special about her, which turns it into a neg almost immediately. And opening with negs is rarely a good idea; they shouldn’t be used until you have an idea what her ego is like, and then only if needed. Same thing goes for tone. Watch how you emphasize words. Language is full of nuances and subtleties for women.

I don’t know if a bar or club environment is the best place to use direct openers since those are the places where bitch shields are most active. I would respond negatively to it in that environment unless it was extremely well done. I could see this working really well during day game, though. Like an approach in a bookstore:

PUA:

    You are really stunning. I just had to come over and meet you.

(exchange names)

    Are you smart, too?

Direct openers are awesome, and way better than the canned “opinion” routines for guys that have the confidence to use them (and if you don’t, you should be working towards it). They are easily modified to fit the specific situation because it’s more formula than script. (Which all good pickup is anyway.) They feel a lot more genuine; they’d feel even more so if personalized to the girl and the situation:

  • You have a beautiful smile./Are you a good dancer?
  • You have captivating eyes./Do you speak Italian?
  • You have a lovely voice./Can you sail?
  • Again, be careful not to accidentally neg. The classic “Nice nails. Are they real?” almost seems to fit the compliment-qualify formula. It doesn’t though; you understand why, right?

    Word of caution: I do think that there is a higher potential “creepy” factor, if it fails or the delivery is bad.


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    Who seduced who? Saturday, Aug 18 2007 

    1. You know you seduced her, and you know how. Don’t tell her this. It’s insecurity that makes you broadcast it to her.

    2. There are very few people, men or women, who can with good humor admit that they were not in control of the situation. It makes people feel powerless and used. Which means that contrary to all evidence, they will refuse to accept that they were not in control.

    2.5 This seems contradictory to the idea that you lower a girl’s ASD by relieving her of the responsibility. It’s not.

    3. Women want the power in a situation; they do not want the responsibility. They want to believe, as they curl up smug and sated as kittens, that there is some special quality about them in particular (looks, usually) that caused you to desire them. They want to believe that the resulting seduction was because you were enraptured and enspelled by that quality. Ultimately, they can lay the responsibility for the actual sex on your persistence, but they need to feel that they controlled the trigger for the attraction.

    At the end, leave her thinking she seduced you first.


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    Obstacles and Attitude Friday, Aug 17 2007 

    If you approach a set and all your signals when addressing the obstacle with the target convey the message that you are hostile to or have a low opinion of her, she’s going to be hostile to you. Instead, establish rapport with her the same way you would any other woman, no matter what you think of her. It doesn’t pay to alienate any women unnecessarily. They talk to their friends; the girls in your set may go to the bathroom together and by the time they come back, all that’s left is for the target to blow you out.

    You get what you put into an interaction and if you are treating a girl, any girl, like she’s not good enough, it will show. I’m not talking about negs or being playful here, I’m talking about genuinely believing the girl in question is not up to snuff and treating her with contempt or disdain. If a chick is giving you the cold shoulder or looking at you like you crawled out from behind the toilet, check your attitude first. There’s a lot of talk about mirroring in PUA material in terms of establishing rapport, but it can work against you just as easily, both in terms of an obstacle picking up your hostility and you picking up hers.

    That’s why you win over the obstacles.

    If you can’t win them over, the best policy is to not be reactive to anything antagonistic that they say. Ignore them. To borrow from the immortal Billie Holiday: “If you can’t say anything real nice, it’s better not to talk at all, is my advice.”


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