Who seduced who? Saturday, Aug 18 2007 

Observations v4nilla 1:13 pm

1. You know you seduced her, and you know how. Don’t tell her this. It’s insecurity that makes you broadcast it to her.

2. There are very few people, men or women, who can with good humor admit that they were not in control of the situation. It makes people feel powerless and used. Which means that contrary to all evidence, they will refuse to accept that they were not in control.

2.5 This seems contradictory to the idea that you lower a girl’s ASD by relieving her of the responsibility. It’s not.

3. Women want the power in a situation; they do not want the responsibility. They want to believe, as they curl up smug and sated as kittens, that there is some special quality about them in particular (looks, usually) that caused you to desire them. They want to believe that the resulting seduction was because you were enraptured and enspelled by that quality. Ultimately, they can lay the responsibility for the actual sex on your persistence, but they need to feel that they controlled the trigger for the attraction.

At the end, leave her thinking she seduced you first.

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Obstacles and Attitude Friday, Aug 17 2007 

Observations v4nilla 12:52 pm

If you approach a set and all your signals when addressing the obstacle with the target convey the message that you are hostile to or have a low opinion of her, she’s going to be hostile to you. Instead, establish rapport with her the same way you would any other woman, no matter what you think of her. It doesn’t pay to alienate any women unnecessarily. They talk to their friends; the girls in your set may go to the bathroom together and by the time they come back, all that’s left is for the target to blow you out.

You get what you put into an interaction and if you are treating a girl, any girl, like she’s not good enough, it will show. I’m not talking about negs or being playful here, I’m talking about genuinely believing the girl in question is not up to snuff and treating her with contempt or disdain. If a chick is giving you the cold shoulder or looking at you like you crawled out from behind the toilet, check your attitude first. There’s a lot of talk about mirroring in PUA material in terms of establishing rapport, but it can work against you just as easily, both in terms of an obstacle picking up your hostility and you picking up hers.

That’s why you win over the obstacles.

If you can’t win them over, the best policy is to not be reactive to anything antagonistic that they say. Ignore them. To borrow from the immortal Billie Holiday: “If you can’t say anything real nice, it’s better not to talk at all, is my advice.”

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